Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Week 2 Story: The Mice and Cats

The most up to date version of this story is in my portfolio
https://sites.google.com/view/cclsportfolio/home

Once upon a time in a moderately sized house, there lived a mass community of mice. The mice were not the only ones who lived in the home, there also lived a family of humans. Due to what seemed like an unfortunate infestation, the humans bought two cats (Bell and Duke) to rid them of their "mice problems." Ever since this day, a great war between the cats and mice has been dwelling.

Now, the cats were very malicious and cunning. They were able to trick the mice very easily. Especially towards the end of the "Great War." From the prolonged attacks, the mice had to be very sneaky. This inevitably depleted the mice's food resources and habitable spaces. The mice were therefore stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The cats were very aware of the mice's predicament. So, they planned together.

"Bell! This is our time to strike! We must finally rid our masters of their infestation!

"Yes, I agree! However, we must proceed in an intelligent manner. The mice are currently struggling, we could potentially prey on their emotions and hardship and empathize with them in a fibbing manner?"

"Okay, and how could this be carried out?"

"Well, let us initiate a treaty and offer to take them to the home next door in our mouths! We can tell them that there is plenty of space, food, and most importantly, the humans do not mind mice!"

"That sounds perfect! Let us proceed!"

After planning their final attack, the cats made their way to the small hole in the kitchen, which was the entrance to the mice community. They called out to the head mice (General Cheese) and informed him of their peace treaty. Now General cheese had been fighting this war for a long time. Never had he known a time where cats and mice had gotten along. After the meeting, General Cheese went back to his community and divulged the proposal that the cats had made to him. He was very hesitant and believe the cats were up to no good, warning the others not to believe them. However, the rest of the community was tired, hungry and beaten down from the long war and unfortunately, they blindly believed the cats.

"We believe the cats general! we are going to leave this wretched place and find a better one for our kids!"

The general watched as his people were taken to the supposed home. Unfortunately, none of them made it, the entire community had been eaten by the cats.

After some time, the general became very lonely. He eventually believed the cats and asked them to take him to the neighboring home. The cats were joyous! Finally, they had the opportunity to kill the last mouse. As they crossed the lawn the general saw the bones of his people. He knew he had been fooled.

"Any last words vermin?"

"Just make it quick you scoundrels!"

Right then the general fell from Duke's mouth unscathed and unconscious. As he woke he saw the bodies of Duke and Bell lie lifelessly next to him. As he looked up, he saw Waldo, the neighborhood dog.

"A dog has saved me? How can this be?"

"You may be confused vermin. However, there exists a long rivalry between dogs and cats. You can say the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Go General Cheese and live your life freely."

Authors notes: This story is based on the story The Cunning Crane and The Crab,  from The Giant Crab, and Other Tales from Old India by W. H. D. Rouse. In my story, I changed the characters to cats and mice. I also added a surprise character in the end that helped the mice, a dog. I also included names to the main characters which I believe did not occur in the original story.

A cat holding a mouse: Cunning Cats

5 comments:

  1. Corbin, your story was well written! It kind of took me back to when I was younger and I would watch Tom and Jerry with my dad. I guess since then I've enjoyed the cat and mouse chase! Your use of dialogue really helped me connect with the story and the characters. Also, your advanced vocabulary really elevated the story! I loved General Cheese!

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  2. Corbin, your story flowed very smooth, and was a joy to read. The dialogues you used in the story really helped set up the characters perfectly and help explained their personalities. I never felt confused in this story so that is good because the plot stuck parallel with the plot from the cunning crane and the crab. I will be looking forward to your future stories.

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  3. Hi Corbin, this was a great story. I think you did a great job of illustrating the conflict that the cats have with the mice and making it believable that the cats were not to be trusted. I am wondering if the dog has any other role than just saving the mouse, but I think you did a great job of taking advantage of common archetypes to tell your story! It was a great read!

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  4. Hey Corbin, I really liked how you were able to really identify and show the conflict between the cats and mice. Especially the dialogue that you were able to use really just personifies the cats which allowed you to show how deceitful they actually are which is why the were not supposed to be trusted. This story was made even more fun for me to read since it somewhat reminded me about Tom and Jerry which used to be one of my favorite shows to watch as a kid, except for in the show only the dog had any dialogue. Something that I think could have added to the story is providing an ending that shows what happened to the cats after Waldo rescues General Cheese just to provide some more closure so that we can see exactly what happened. The flow of the story was also really great it never felt forced and was easy to read.

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  5. Hey Corbin,

    Your story was a really good read. It flowed so easily which made is easy to be connect to it. I liked that you showed a conversation between the characters. this made it easy to get into the story and it felt like I was watching a cartoon. I liked the changes you made and how you combined more than one story together. I look forward to reading more of your stories!

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